The Christmas of Chai

This Christmas was incredible.  It is by far the most impacting and meaningful Christmas of my life.  I saw true despair, grief, poverty, and true joy, provision, and HOPE.  To see the leper, the lame, the orphan, and the beggar,

                                 

 and to know that you can not do anything for them while you are there does something to your soul and it breaks your heart.   One image that continually stands out in my mind is the first day in New Delhi.  There was a little girl, dirty, small, hungry, carrying a small baby, possibly her little sister, and just making a gesture with her hand showing her need of food.  To have hands reach into your bus with the hopes of pulling away money, to have all these images flow into your mind at one time and then realize that this is not special or different.  These images are the images of India, and in talking with others, you realize that this same girl carrying the baby has been seen all over India, just with different clothes and with a different face.  It is this seeming despair that is overwhelming when you first see the country of India, but there is hope and it is in this hope that I spent my holiday.  I was able to see children worshiping Christ in a country that is held under the bondage of Hinduism.  The educated can say what they want about religious tolerance and acceptance, but until you have seen your 1,001st temple to a graven image and you see the same people begging placing food and money and flowers in front of a rock, you do not know spiritual bondage and the spiritual warfare that is shaping the future of India.  And then, to see the children in this place worshiping the one true God, dancing out of joy,                                     and being the most thankful and giving people you will ever meet.  It is amazing, and it shows the true love and hope found in Christ.  Christmas has now taken on a completely different meaning.  Caroling at 2:00 in the morning, dancing in the streets, playing drums, tambourines, and cymbals,  spending time with the kids and taking gifts to them,  watching their faces as they unwrap their presents and say that it is really from God, to spend time with the college students who will be leaving in March to spread the gospel and who might be martyred for their faith, to see the bravery and faith and boldness in their faces, and then to cry with them when you have to leave.  This is Christmas.  This is true hope, and joy, and peace.  These words are not just glittered carvings to be put out around December, but they are words lived out every day by these kids and the amazing people who take care of them.  These children who have come out of nothing, both spiritually and physically, now have hope.  They have a hope of a life lived in Christ, spreading the gospel of our risen savior.  They have shown me true joy and love.  They have shown me the true meaning of Christmas and I will never be the same.  I went to India to serve and to bring Christmas to you, but you have given much more to me than I was able to bring you.  Thank you and God bless! 

Remember when God provides

I have a letter on my wall at school. It is the letter that I sent out to family and friends to ask for support and prayer for the trip which begins in 2 days. There is a little note that I wrote to myself. It says, "remember when God provides". And He has! I found out today that someone came in to the offices today and made an annonymous donation to pay the remaining amount of my account. All I have to say now is, THANKS! When I started this journey, I had no clue how this was going to be paid for and saw no way that it could be payed with only my work. AND, that is exactly where God wanted me to be. I was in a place where I litterally could not afford to do this trip on my own work. I cannot take pride in anything I did, it was literally all God. My aunt told me when I started this trip that if this is a journey that God will use to stretch my faith, that the money will probably come in at the last minute. And it did come in even after I thought it wouldn't come in. God is awesome like that! He will provide! I just want to say thank you to all of you who have prayed, given financial support, and read my blog to check up and pray for the needs of the team. I pray that God will bless you so much! It has been so humbling to see all the people who have supported me during this process and kept me going when I wasn't sure if this was what I should be doing. In so many ways, you are going to India as well. You are ministering to the kids and directly sharing hope to those who are far from God. Thank you! You all really have become hope to those.


ps. Pictures and blogs about my trip will come in about 2 weeks after I return and there will be more information about other trips to come, like my May trip to South Africa! Love you all!

What's next....

I am so excited for what is next to come.  I was able to help the team 1 group from Charlotte get on their way this past Saturday night.  It is just so incredible how God is moving in each person's life.  Many of us are just following God, but do not know an exact reason.  It is time in our life to serve.  It is time for the church in general to serve their community and their world.  It is time to get real and stop letting pride, finances, or personal fears stop us from rising up and changing the world.  My psalm for this week and last has been reverberating in my mind.  Psalm 98:   Sing to the Lord a new song, for he has done marvelous things; his right hand and his holy arm have worked salvation for him.  The Lord has made his salvation known and revealed his righteousness to the nations.  He has remembered his love and his faithfulness to the house of Israel;  all the ends of the earth have seen the salvation of our God.

I want to thank all of you who have kept me in your prayers.  Financially, I am only $355 away from finishing the rest.  I'm ready to go and really excited.  The first team has got me excited and I know that there is an amazing group of people going, ready to do this!  I don't know what to say.  I am struck by how blessed I am to have such an amazing group of people in my life and friends who keep my going and accountable.  What happens in the next 3 weeks is all an extension of you.  Thank you and I love you all so much!

1 month prayers

It is hard to believe that the in one month, I will be in India.  This has been a crazy journey.  It's been really challenging, frustrating, and amazing.  I can't wait to meet the people there, hear their story, and work with them.  My prayers this week have been that God will focus me on what he wants me to do while there and to focus my thoughts and prepare me for what's coming ahead.  I'm not gonna lie, I don't really feel prepared, but that just means that I will be relying on Him more.  I also have been praying that the rest of the funds needed ($1,155) will come in and all will be set financially.  I know I'm not the only one in this boat and that there are others who need the funds too.  I pray that they will all receive exactly what they need as well.  There is such an amazing group of people ready to go.  I pray that we all come together as one body and just do crazy things for Christ.  I hope that you will join with me in this and pray these same prayers.  Please pray for me as the month is closing in.  Pray for a renewed walk, and that I see God fresh and new every day.  Pray that the group will all have this in their daily walk with Christ and that we may grow together and bring each other and the people we meet closer to Him. 

Provided

Here we are.  Less than 75 days away from departure!  God is providing, God is moving, God is growing my faith and my knowledge that He is good, He is great, He is the true provider.  Right now, I am so encouraged, so ready and excited.  I'm in awe of what I know God is going to do in the future.  I've been reading through Psalms and it's funny how they are so true to the real thoughts of someone following God.  As a friend said to me this morning, Christians are so unbalanced.  The psalms are that way.  My thoughts are that way.  But we are not called to be balanced.  We are called to leave your life, to leave your situation, to leave everything and follow after Him.  It is hard at times for our human brains to understand this, but the psalms show us the thoughts of a man who's heart was most treasured by God.  It's true, raw, unfiltered.  In my last entry, it was a crying out to God.  I knew and still know that He is the provider, but sometimes you just don't see where it's coming from.  The answer may not be seen immediately, but He is the provider, He is the conquerer.  What I know now is that He is providing like He promised.

Prayer request as things get closer:  I need to be getting spiritually ready for this trip.  I need constancy and consistency in my walk with God.  I need to completely rely on Him and be so bound up in who He is.  Thank you all who read this and are praying.  much love!

a little mother teresa

I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much.
-mother teresa

I was reading a book yesterday, and this quote was in it. I kinda chuckled when I read it. This season that God has begun in my life is kinda wrapped up in this statement. I'm not saying that I am anywhere near Mother Teresa. I would never make that comparison, but God is stretching my faith. God demands all of your life, and He will do anything to get all of it. He will put you in a place to where you have to rely on Him alone, to where even your existence depends on Him (or at least to where you finally see the truth that it does). So far, no other financial support has come in. I'm all in God, WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW! I know that this is not the sugar coated, perfect faith or story of perfect faith, but it is real. I KNOW that God will provide and that He has the best in mind, but sometimes you just get a little frustrated. This quote kinda sums up exactly my feelings. Thank you God for all you do and that you are my only provider and guide. Thank you for stretching my faith, but I think I'm good now... Just kidding! (kinda) I know that looking back is always completely different than looking forward, and that I will see God's providence and grace and supplying provision. I am relying on this because that is all I have to have faith in. I can not have faith in my faith, but in God's faithfulness. Thank you God for that.

A week of rug burn

It is coming down to it.  It is starting to hit me that in 13-14 weeks, I will be in India.  With the passing of the first deadline for the deposit, I didn't meet the amount needed in my account.  This is when I have to hit the ground and my knees.  The ticket has already been bought.  The trip is on its way.  I am going, only if I have the money, and I just withdrew all the money in my savings account and still don't even have half of the money needed.  This is me being transparent.  I know that God will provide.  I know.  I'm not complaining.  But, the thought even occurred that even if the money doesn't come in, even if I for some reason am not able to go, God is still God.  Even if I look like a bumbling idiot who people say "didn't pray enough for God to provide", God is still God.  Be praying that this next week is a week of rug burn, that I pray and place my total faith in God like never before.  I need God's resources to pour forth.  May this grow my faith and the faith of those praying with me.  It is time for my knees to hit the rug and my mind be completely set on God, seeking His glory through my unbelief.  I don't know where the money is going to come from, but I am just praying.  

-Sorry if this seems too personal or blunt, but I am being as transparent as possible.