a little mother teresa

I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much.
-mother teresa

I was reading a book yesterday, and this quote was in it. I kinda chuckled when I read it. This season that God has begun in my life is kinda wrapped up in this statement. I'm not saying that I am anywhere near Mother Teresa. I would never make that comparison, but God is stretching my faith. God demands all of your life, and He will do anything to get all of it. He will put you in a place to where you have to rely on Him alone, to where even your existence depends on Him (or at least to where you finally see the truth that it does). So far, no other financial support has come in. I'm all in God, WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW! I know that this is not the sugar coated, perfect faith or story of perfect faith, but it is real. I KNOW that God will provide and that He has the best in mind, but sometimes you just get a little frustrated. This quote kinda sums up exactly my feelings. Thank you God for all you do and that you are my only provider and guide. Thank you for stretching my faith, but I think I'm good now... Just kidding! (kinda) I know that looking back is always completely different than looking forward, and that I will see God's providence and grace and supplying provision. I am relying on this because that is all I have to have faith in. I can not have faith in my faith, but in God's faithfulness. Thank you God for that.

A week of rug burn

It is coming down to it.  It is starting to hit me that in 13-14 weeks, I will be in India.  With the passing of the first deadline for the deposit, I didn't meet the amount needed in my account.  This is when I have to hit the ground and my knees.  The ticket has already been bought.  The trip is on its way.  I am going, only if I have the money, and I just withdrew all the money in my savings account and still don't even have half of the money needed.  This is me being transparent.  I know that God will provide.  I know.  I'm not complaining.  But, the thought even occurred that even if the money doesn't come in, even if I for some reason am not able to go, God is still God.  Even if I look like a bumbling idiot who people say "didn't pray enough for God to provide", God is still God.  Be praying that this next week is a week of rug burn, that I pray and place my total faith in God like never before.  I need God's resources to pour forth.  May this grow my faith and the faith of those praying with me.  It is time for my knees to hit the rug and my mind be completely set on God, seeking His glory through my unbelief.  I don't know where the money is going to come from, but I am just praying.  

-Sorry if this seems too personal or blunt, but I am being as transparent as possible.